Amazon thinks my son is a bastard
Hey Jeff,
I know you’re busy chopping kindling and all, but maybe you could take just a few minutes to recognize that children have two parents. You see, my wife created a baby registry on your site, but now she’s the only one who’s allowed to add things to it. Why? You even asked her to enter my name when she created it, and you taunt me with it saying that the registry belongs to both of us right there on the page. But we both know the truth: You just don’t trust me to add items to my own son’s registry.
Are you afraid that I’d add a bunch of things that he shouldn’t have? Come on. I know he won’t be old enough for a BB gun for at least four or five years. Or maybe you don’t trust me not to put things on the list that would be more for me than for him, like, say, a new camera. But come on! I’m going to have to take tons of pictures of him. And, geez, you let Laura put a breast pump on there. How’s he going to use that?
So come on, Jeff, stop treating me like a deadbeat dad and let me parent my own son.
Sincerely,
Porter Glendinning

Comments
Dear Porter;
We at Amazon(TM) sincerely thank you for your patronage over the years and we would greatly value your continued business in the future. Quite frankly we were presented with a dilemma when we received the request from your wife, Laura, that under no circumstances were we to ever add your name as a co-moderator of your Amazon(TM) gift registry.
We at Amazon(TM) realize that over the years your list of purchases has been among the more robust of any on the planet but when we compared it to your wife, Laura’s purchases, well, needless to say, our decision to honor her request was, for us, a no-brainer.
We do sincerely regret any inconvenience and we thank you for shopping Amazon(TM).
Sincerely,
JEFF BEZOS, founder, president, chief executive officer, and chairman of the board, Amazon(TM)